Liturgy: “Know Your Belovedness”

This week’s liturgy is contributed by Esther Jhun, Director of Counseling Services:

When my father, Gap Hyun, was about ten, his father suddenly died. My grandmother
became a widow with seven children in Korea, a country that could hardly catch a
break after the Japanese occupation and a war that followed, eventually splitting the
country in two along the 38th parallel. Gap Hyun never forgot what it was to be poor at
that time, mostly because others felt the need to remind him through beatings, verbal
abuse, and utter contempt. Comfort was found in the mountains where he would
weep and cry out to Jesus. Like Hagar, he was hoping to be seen.

Years later, Gap-Hyun-now-Gary ensured that our family lived the American dream in
suburbia. Ironically, that life was afforded through the business of death as he sold
life insurance. His job and father’s premature death would reinforce his fear of death.

Psalm 49 is a stark reminder that “I am a flower quickly fading / Here today and gone
tomorrow” (Casting Crowns). Sobering, yes. It is not only a remedy to our own sense
of self-importance, but a probing of the heart. The psalm can provide us an examen as
inhabitants of the world’s financial capital. The question to ask ourselves is: What is
the story I’m telling myself about why I’m here?

Rich Villodas, author of Good and Beautiful and Kind, recounts how a bodega worker
broadcast to everyone that he was using food stamps to pay for eggs and bread. Rich
was about twelve at the time and recalled feeling deeply embarrassed and ashamed,
making him “believe something was deeply wrong with being poor.” Years later, as
he processed this with God, the message he heard from God was, “Rich, you are not
your bank account. You are not your poverty or your financial wealth. You are beloved.
You are treasured. You are mine.”

Know your belovedness. In this season of uncertainty, our roots need to go deeper
still into the love of God, a love that is stronger than death. Yes, we are experiencing
an existential threat. The anticipation of grief shows up in our bodies as we find it
hard to focus, sleep, or just feel numb. Nothing is certain. Yet He would remind us that
the ransom was paid and we are His, first and foremost.

Remember your belovedness and show the world who you are by loving one another
deeply. And there, we will find our legacy.